Regrets.

"There is nothing more painful than regrets"

And how true this turns out to be. This was an advice given to me by a senior of mine when I was in school. I was 13. And as I grew up through the years, I came to see that definitely, There is nothing more painful than regrets.

Why, why is this true? Because feeling regret means that you are not satisfied with what you had done (or not done) before. You feel that you could have done it differently, or you feel that you shouldn't have done it. And regret always comes when you are in a situation that you cannot change. That is why, there is nothing more painful than regrets.

There was a friend of mine, who died in a car accident. But he wasn't the one driving. He and a group of friends were coming home from a futsal game at 1 in the morning. There weren't many cars on the road, so the driver pushed a bit too hard on the accelerator. The story that I heard consistently was that the car was too fast when negotiating a corner, and the car turned over and landed on its top. There were 4 people in the car. Only my friend died. The driver was injured, not dead. My friend was only 18.

So imagine the guilt that the driver had to live with. The regret that he feels. He could have changed it. He could have driven slowly and safely. Now, a friend died, and he regrets what he's done. But however guilty he feels, he lost a life, and he will never get it back.

Sometimes there are also regrets regarding parents. When my grandmother passed away, my dad was one of those who did not cry. He never did I think. And I asked him why, because I felt strange. He said:

"I did not have any regrets with my mother. I did all I could to help her. I was a good son. I never shouted at her. I never got angry at her. I respected her. Because she was a good mother, I was a good son. "

And this kind of opened my eyes a bit. What my dad said was true. He was a good son, and he did not cry because he did what he could and what he should. He did not have any regrets, so he did not feel pain when my grandmother passed away. Imagine, on the contrary that my dad was a bad son. Imagine if he never visited my grandparents, or if he never calls, or he was always angry at them. Surely, when my grandma passes away, he would be the one crying, because he could have made his relationship with his parents better, but he never did. He would feel the pain, because he regrets what he didn't do for his parents.

There are also regrets regarding friends. Some people, when they have a lot of friends, they tend to compartmentalize and classify their friends. There is the 'in' group and the 'out' group all of a sudden. Some people start to prioritise the 'in' group but start to neglect the 'out' group in effect. So imagine if one day he needs help, and he asks for help to the 'out' group, and they would not want to help him. the regret starts kicking in, because now he's lost his friends, and it would be hard to get them back.

There are all kinds of regrets in this world, and to tell what I know would take a lot more than one post. So I'm going to stop here. All I am saying, is that sometimes we don't realise the regret, until we actually feel it. By that time, it would be too late, in any case. whether it is about money, or parents, or friends, or death, or education, or smoking, or anything, regret is always painful. So when we act, act such that we can minimise out regret. Keep in contact with friends. Help out your parents. Drive slowly and safely. Tell your girlfriend/ wife you love her. Keep a civil toungue. Stay away from drugs. Anything, to keep away from regret.