Direction

There was once a time when a friend of mine wanted to go to Mekah, to perform her umrah. Then, when we chatted on YM, she asked me, "Ada anything you want me to doa in front of the Kaabah??". Then it struck me. I didn't know what to answer her. Of course, there's a million things that I want, but at that moment it struck me that I didn't really have an aim, a direction in this life. In short, I wasn't sure of what I want. At least, I've never given it a thought".

Now I'm not talking about long term, future investment plans,the "What I want to be in 10 years" kind of thing. That, I always go with the flow. This direction that I mean, is generally, "What are we actually looking for in life. Do we really know of what we actually want to make of our lives." I mean, let's face it. Putting aside all the careers, the success, the money, the wealth, the power, will we really be satisfied with what we have.

I guess at some point in time, everyone will start to think of this. I mean, there are a lot of people who, at 50 years old, given the high positions and the money, look back with a bit of regret and think, "Wow. What have I achieved all these years?". Why, with all the success, still he can ask that sort of question? I guess, he hasn't really found what he's looking for, yet.

Let's face it. If a person lives in this world, following the direction of success, fame, money, wealth, then he will be satisfied, because he followed the direction that he was looking for, and he achieved it. But what if people want a different direction. What if people don't live for money, and fame, and all that. Then, if any, what direction does he follow?

My ustaz one told me a story, which made me think a bit. It goes a bit like this:

"Awak fikir yeh. Sorang engineer, kawin dengan sorang doctor, duit banyak, tapi anak sikit. Lepas tu boleh cerai pulak tu. Pastu awak tengok orang2 kampung. Kerja nelayan. Isteri suri rumah. Duit sikit, tapi anak ramai. Lepas tu boleh kekal sampai usia lanjut".

Well, I only half believed him of course. I mean, let's face it. Not every engineer-doctor combination is doomed to fail. And not every fisherman-housewife is guaranteed success. But then when I thought again, it does have some element of truth. My grandparents was an immigration officer - housewife combination. They had 8 children. (12, sepatutnya). They lived in the same house since they moved to Kedah. And so far, all the family members are still speaking to each other (Alhamdulillah). Then I compared this to the people in America. Women are not getting married, since they can 'take care of themselves'. People in Hollywood get married and get divorced everyday. Now everyone is going out with everyone. If you don't want to look too far, look at the people in Malaysia. Teenagers smoking. Muslims drinking alcohol, freely. The same 'married-divorce' phenomena. Haiya.

So, what is my bloody point again?

Look at my grandparents for instance. They, I think are a good example of following a direction that is the 'middle road'. Simple job, yet money is not the thing they chase. They are not building wealth, yet they are not poor. They have 8 children, and all of them got married. They have good friends, good family, and children that remember them when they passed away. They chose to follow happyness, and peacefulness, and that is what they got, Alhamdulillah.

Now look at the women in America. After their studies, they want to focus on their careers, perhaps partly due to the force of circumstances, in that in America, you have to be 'somebody' to live in that kind of (developed?) country. So, getting married and starting a family becomes second priority. We can't blame them. If we were living in that situation, we might need to do the same as well.

The teenagers in Malaysia? Perhaps the lack of direction caused this lack of awareness of moral values? They don't really know what they want in this world. So just do, and see what happens later. Until when mate? The misguided Muslims? What kind of direction are they following? Certainly not the religion. Maybe the 'nakal2 dulu taubat later' direction?

From all this observation, I guess finding direction early on in life is important, so that we don't go astray. So that we are sure, that when we keep on living, we think "Yep, this is what I want. Alhamdulillah". If we don't find direction early on, most probably we won't feel happy when we go on, because what happenned to us is not what we really want. But, bear in mind. What we want, must have a flexibility as well. Not everything is going to happen our way, therefore the way we chase our direction must be open to a lot of options.

So, what I am hoping, is to the most moderate direction possible. Maybe not too rich, as money can change people. Not too poor, as then it will be hard to live. I won't live like a minister, with all the glam and stars, and I won't live like a pauper either. I hope that I will live with an easy and calm heart, and that I can handle the stresses well. I hope to be happy, always, and I hope that I can stay hapy for a very2 long time. That, is the kind of direction that I hope for. Aminn.