All The Small Things

Have you ever felt that some people are just too commanding when they are asking you to do something? It may even be a simple favour, but still you think that you are being taken for granted, and you feel that you are being shoved around, asked to "Do This. Do That. Go do this. Go do that". You do? Well my friend, welcome to the world of "Un-manners"

In this world, saying all the small things, such as "Please", "Thank you" and "Sorry" is unacceptable. It is looked upon as being weak, as being too 'soft' to ask for help. Well, if THEY are SOOOOO strong, they wouldn't need our help in the first place, would they?

When we think about it, there is a vast difference in asking for help and commanding or giving orders. However, little do we realise that only a small difference is needed to interchange between the two. Consider this:

"Hey, tolong bukakkan kan computer boleh? Angah nak pakai.."

and this......

"Weyh, gi bukak computer. Angah nk pakai cepat"

Well, same meaning, but different mode of delivery. Do you realise the difference?? What about this one:

"Please pay rent by end of this week"

and this....

"Rent this week RM90. Pay ASAP "

The same message. Different implication. The first one you would think is from a friend to a friend. The second one sounds more like the note on the fridge speaking. Very little difference, but very vast different in implication.

What about saying thank you and sorry? Bosses in high places. Do you think their subordinates respect them just because they are the boss? What about acknowledging the help that the subordinates give? Usually no thanks is given for the work done, be it in a small group or a large organization. What about saying sorry, when you know you are wrong?? Don't you think that it settles a lot when we say all the small things?

Think about when we say them. When we say thank you more often, we are not portraying weakness. In fact, when we gather the courage to acknowledge someone's help, they will respect us a lot more for it. It does not need an overflowing barrage of sweet words and compliments. Sometimes, a simple "thank you" is what we need. Imagine hearing a politician thanking the 'normal' people. Isn't that something sweet that you don't hear often??

And about saying sorry. When we acted wrongly towards a person, isn't it best to settle it quickly and admit that we are wrong? If we are truly wrong, not saying sorry and not admitting it does not make us any more right. It does not make us weak to say that we are wrong. Saying it takes courage, and trying to make it right is the strongest point of all. We are human after all, and we make mistakes. We don't need chocolates and cards to say sorry. Saying it one to one, a simple "sorry" is all that we need. It CAN make a difference, trust me.

As an endnote, I would like to summarise:

"Saying thank you does not make us weak. It deletes all sense of arrogance towards us, and people give us respect so we are not weak in their eyes"

"Saying please makes the difference between asking for help and giving orders. Which one is for you?? You decide"

"Saying sorry and admitting you are wrong will settle a lot of unsaid things. Its better to let them go than to keep them botlled"

So my friends, remember its not ONLY about the portrayal of good manners. Its all about having them and making them a part of you. Next time you go out, remember all the small things.