Fall Down...But never Stop Standing..

(sedang menghilangkan peluh di waktu pagi)

Today when I was warming down, I had a thought.

It's interesting that our life consists of up and downs.

Because then, it would always be a bumpy ride, and never an easy one.

So, we will always fall down. But then, we don't always have to stay down...unless we want to.

Take for example, in tennis. We will hit really high and really bad before we perfect our technique to get that perfect top spin.

And driving. I have seen people who learn to drive the very expensive way. They had accidents with trees, with light poles. they go on the highway and pay tons of toll. But then, they come out as the most proficient drivers I've ever seen.

And scholarships. I've seen one guy who applied for a lot but didn't get anything, when his friends already got scholarships to study overseas. But in the end, due to persistence, he was the only one to get a Petronas scholarship and do his A Levels Overseas.

And in the general picture, this applies in life as a whole.

Sometimes you will be the most spoilt brat, before you become the most responsible guy in the family.

Sometimes you will be the naughtiest in the family, before you become the most disciplined.

Sometimes you are the most noisy, before you learn to say the right things at the right time.

Sometimes you won't listen to people at all, before you learn to accept that you are not perfect, and that other people have opinions as well.

An old axiom in life, you learn to crawl before you walk. And you learn to walk before you run. And you learn to run before you drive a car. It's the same thing.

We will always fall down no matter what. But it doesn't mean that we have to stay down..

Pick yourselves up...keep on running..

Our Past

Our past defines us, our past determines who we are....

And yet the interesting thing is, there will not be two people who go through the same thing and result in the same outcome.

So our past defines us, but we determine our own definition

We determine what we want to be...

Why all these prophetic words?

Its interesting. I was looking through my old pictures. Like, really old pictures..

The time when my mom held me and my head was only the size of a small pumpkin. My mom was really beautiful. I guess that's where I got my smile and energy.

Then I was five years old. I was beside my dad at a house in Bukit Chedang. He wore these big, wacky glasses they wore in the 90s. hmm... sounds familiar... Serious but playful?

Then fast forward to the time I was 10. Friends. Friends at school. Main kejar2. Makan kat kantin. Man those were the days.

Then to the time I was older, wiser: high school. From the dark days to the glory days.

There was a picture of us in the dorm making really dumb faces. Spiky hair, sweaty after that cross-training around school.

Friends doing manhunt poses with those flabby untoned stomachs. Yang gemok pon join beb. Hmmm... No wonder there is craziness under all this seriousness..

A picture of moi on the bed, lifting a finger....Hmm....rebelliousness?

And then there are pictures with no me in it at all...Hmm. Have I always been camera shy?

But then theres a picture of me when I was 17. Guitar in the dorm. That soulful face. Hmmm..Jiwang?? (no no no)

And the picture of the stage I grazed for so long. Since I was 13, that stage was my forte. I was confident on it. I had no problems in front of a big crowd. Nerves are second nature that time. hmm.....thats where I turned into a performer....

And from these early dark days, my every expression was different. Being from the childish chaiwalla who didn't know how to smile to save my life, to the guy who didn't have any expression at all, and slowly learning to find my smile. hmm....progressiveness...

And the final picture was a picture of two girls. I'm not in it. But these two girls meant the world to me. they both look similar, one was in her twenties, and the other is still a teen.

They gave colour to my life that was dull and boring. I grew up with them. They keep me company when I am alone, and I hear their stories in return. These girls were my past. And I hope they will be my future.

So, what is your past?

The Paradox of Close Proximity..

It's funny sometimes how a person so close to you could be the one thing that you want to get far away from. Of course, I am not saying that it happens all the time, but generally, it happens.

A funny fact, we all love to be away from home once in a while. Of course, being afar for too long would lead to a disease called homesickness, but generally, a feeling of relief comes by when we are away from home once in a while.

And the deal with best friends. However good friends you are with someone, the more space you feel that you need between each other.

Sometimes I observe that the more we have to do with something, the more we don't want to have anything to do with that thing.

Again, this generally happens, not all the time.

I guess this is the paradox of things. The more we get close to something, the more we want to get away from it.

Like husband and wife. Lambat laun, there will be some kind of stagnation between them and they will need some space to revive the passion. Chey..

And siblings. My sister once told me that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I never believed in this. Now I do. haha. I used to not hang around with my siblings that much. Now that I am far away, hanging with them is the best thing to do at home.

...ada la lagi. Sometimes we know our friends more than we know our girlfriends/boyfriends. Padahal selalu je berkepit. I know my friends after school more than I know my schoolmates. (It happens, and I hate to admit it).

It happens. Close proximity brings us further away sometimes. This is the paradox of today.

Oh decent woman....

Once I talked to a friend of mine and he was really into women.... Moreover, he was really into local (Australian) women. Asyik2 mata biru lah, rambut perang lah, hapa lah...

So one day, I decided to take a walk about Adelaide, to really see the local woman that he was talking about.

So I walked...and walked...

And you know what I see??

+Spaghetti strap

+Beer bellies

+Really ugly makeup

+People drunk out of their minds

+piercings here n there

...and there's more...

+women who use 'f**K' as a vocab. It's almost as if it's a whole new language..

+lesbians, kissing in public, or on the escalator (seriously, i almost puked...dhla tak lawa)

...so I was thinking to myself, over and over, mata biru? rambut perang?

ouh man, no wonder I was never interested in locals....

And as I went home from my little walkabout, I felt really thankful. Thankful that women from my country are better than that. I'm lucky to have met decent women in my life.

Women who are respectable. Who dress well. Who takes care of herself. Who doesn't abuse themselves.

Women who respect themselves. Women who are decent.

Women who speak English n Malay, and not 'fuck-language' 24 hours a day.

I'm thankful for religion. It gives control. It gives stability.

I'm thankful for good character. Women don't need ugly makeup to be beautiful. They just need good character.

I'm thankful to have met people like that. I wish they could stay...