My Father's Chair

There's a few chairs in my living room in Malaysia.


There's one 'triple sofa' and one 'double sofa'.


And there's one single sofa. I called it my father's chair. Reason being that in that living room, that was his place. That was his seat in my home. 

I've never sat in that chair...

I never knew why I never did. A lot of people have sat in that chair aside from my dad. 


Friends, cousins, even my siblings. I don't know about my mum though. I don't remember her ever sitting there. 

But I've never sat on that chair. I've never sat on my father's seat.... 

I wouldn't call it a throne. It's not different from the other sofas. 


It was the same level, the same colour, the same design, same cushions, it pretty much resembles all the other chairs there. 

But I've never sat on it....

His presence wasn't the reason. I never sat there even when he wasn't at home. 


Neither was it his command, his wish or instruction. He never forbade any of us sitting there. 


And it was definitely not my mum's instruction either. She never forbade any of us sitting there. 


So at the end of the day, I still wonder. Why in thirteen years I lived there, I've never sat at that one spot. 


But little did I know, my father and myself were not that different. 


Turns out, he never sat on his father's chair either. 


His father's rocking chair in front of the TV. While his father was alive, my father never sat on that chair either. 


I think he never knew the answer then, but I'm sure he understood now why he never sat there before. 


Would I one day find a similar answer?

Only time would tell, why I never sat on my father's chair.